Daisy of Love : I was Only Playing with You Before but Now…

The time has come, once again, for I, Bryan Jose, to recap last week’s “Daisy of Love” so that you, the home reader and viewer, will go into tonight’s episode fully reminded of the events. Something like that. It is not like I’d watch the show, take some notes and then slack off for a week. That’d never happen. Hey look, Riki’s wearing a Supersuckers t-shirt! Thanks for the distraction from my lame intro Riki! And speaking of cool fashion choices on this episode, I have to mention Sinister’s glasses. I find it very odd how very normal he looked in them. They’re big, plastic, clunky glasses, and he’s not the most normal looking guy, but when you put them together he looks like that nice, but slightly weird cousin you always meet at your family reunions hovering around the keg of Natty Lite or the spread of homemade apple pies.

Speaking of food, the challenge this episode is for the boys to cook Daisy a meal. It’ll be a 5 course meal with each of the boys handling a course each. Flex states that he hopes Daisy likes ramen, which is exactly what I was thinking. Actually what I was thinking was that if I was on the show I’d cook some good ass hamburgers while shouting “It’s burger time, you know I’m having fun!” Who would expect these guys to cook anything real on their own? As it turns out no one, the boys get some help from catering cooks as well as get a list of ingredients, said ingredients and cooking directions. Basically a monkey could cook these things, and cook them at least well enough to eat, as long as said monkey was literate. While I’m not sure I could say this at the beginning of the season, I feel relatively positive that these 5 men have no problem working their way around a bunch of words.

On with the cooking! Wait; forget the cooking, other than Big Rig’s admirer and Flex talking about getting a boner nothing interesting happened. So, on with the eating of the cooking! First up with have Big Rig’s slightly runny heart-shaped zucchini quiche. Apparently it was still pretty good and Daisy liked it despite not being about to say the word “quiche”. Next we have Chi Chi’s French onion soup that he cried over. Sure, it was from cutting the onions, but it wasn’t the end of his tears tonight. Next course is Sinister’s lasagna, on top of which Sinister made a noodle skull. Daisy is all “there’s a skull on it,” in her confessional interview “A skull and cross bones, like poison.” No Daisy, you half-wit, not like poison, like the skull that’s on about 80% of your clothing. Do you look at what you wear? Do you even dress yourself? Daisy, Daisy, you’re driving me crazy! Every time you do something smart, like kick off Fox, you do something like this that makes me question your intelligence all over again.

Speaking of questioning things, when Daisy gets served Flex’s Chicken Cordon Bleu and she asks what it is. Seriously producers, this is the second thing you’ve served Daisy that she doesn’t even know anything about. But she likes it, so does everyone else, as well as liking everything that’s been served tonight. See, my monkey statement stands! It all comes down to the dessert, Dave Pack’s red velvet cake. Even though Flex doubts that Dave can pull it off due to his being a professional douche bag, the boy seems to have made a damn fine cake. In your face, Flex! According to Daisy “red velvet cake = orgasm!” So I take it he did well?

After some miserable PA gets done wiping down Daisy’s seat (off camera) she announces that she cannot decide who should win. She even looks to Riki who seems more than a little upset that all the meals turned out well and there was nothing to make fun of. So Daisy, being Daisy wants to play. And the game is “Let’s Make The People At The Table Uncomfortable And Then Act Confused When They Feel That Way!” If you’re a regular watch or VH1 reality dating shows then you’re very familiar with this game, hell Brett Michaels’ is the master of it. She wants to go around the table and find out who each of the boys think are most and least compatible with her.

Chi Chi predictably says that he thinks that Sinister would be the best for her. When Sinister doesn’t return this favor and states that he thinks Flex is a better match Chi Chi storms off, locks himself in the bathroom and cries a little bit. Sinister, being a good guy tracks down his friend, makes sure he’s relatively OK and tries to get him back the table. Even though Chi Chi and Sinister aren’t best friends anymore, they still both agree that Big Rig is the least compatible.

Now the other side of the table have also come to a consensus on who they think that Daisy should drop, and they all agree that it should be Chi Chi. Dave Pack and Flex exchange a vote for each other as the best for Daisy. It’s nice to see Operation 12 Pack Sexy Flexy is still in effect. Big Rig votes for Flex as the most compatible for Daisy, giving Flex a score of 3 votes and crowning him the winner of the date. Also on the losers are winners are losers front, Big Rig and Chi Chi win some sort of “Last Chance to Impress Me Low Vote Getters” date with Daisy as well.

After dinner it’s time to go out back and have a good time. Indeed. Sinister is up for it, and as long as Daisy is there singing with him as he plays guitar he’s the happiest guy on the show. After a while Daisy claims to call it a night and in doing so asks Dave Pack to walk her to her room (as well as inviting him into said room). This pisses Sinister right off. He claims that it’s just not right or nice and he has a point. He just takes his frustration out in odd ways. First thing he does go and ask for Dave Pack to share some of the vodka he took up into Daisy’s room with him. Post vodka gathering he has a problem shutting Daisy’s door. This is followed by Sinister throwing drink cups at the bar, drumming on the bar and some general hoopin’ and a hollerin’ up and down the halls.

Daisy and Dave Pack are hearing all of this and Daisy is just interpreting it all wrong. After Dave says that he doesn’t know why people act like Sinister is acting, Daisy starts getting all teary-eyed and says “but people don’t like me and keep walking away from me!” Dave is trying to comfort her, but damn if Sinister isn’t being so loud as to be the biggest mood killer in the entire universe. As Daisy calls it: “Battlestar Dramatica!”

The 2 lovebirds decide to join the rest of the boys back at the fire just to shut Sinister up. He and Daisy start crying about being immature about things, and Sinister says that he too would like to be pulled aside and made out with. Once again Daisy takes this as some proof of fact that he’ll soon be walking off the show, following in the foot steps of Flipper, Brooklyn, London (his name was Joshua Lee!) and Cage. This is followed by a crying freak-out and a chase scene with Sinister and ample apologies before the night is over.

A new day dawns and with it some dates. First is an archery lesson with Flex and some fatty Oliver Queen wanna-be. Flex seems to do all right, Daisy less so, but they’re having a good time. Such a good time they start making out in front of the instructor and forget that he’s there. Talk about awkward! After that it is time to get some lunch. Flex decides to drop the “funny guy” routine and just be real. They start connecting and it’s really sweet. Awwwww. Then they make out hard core. Ewwwww!

After the date Sinister goes to apologize to Daisy once again. While he saying he’s sorry he totally turns on Chi Chi. It was awesome! The balls on this guy! He reminds Daisy that turning on this best friend isn’t hard as he’s just here for Daisy, no other reason, Daisy is all he wants. That statement is what Daisy’s been waiting to hear from the moment the camera’s started rolling. Sinister gets some major make outs from this action.

Now it’s time for Big Rig and Chi Chi to go on their date with Daisy, if only Chi Chi can get together a nice outfit working around that knife sticking out his back. She takes them to Shooters, a bar I’m familiar with, and starts asking the boys why she should pick them over the other guy. Chi Chi launches into his whole “I just want what’s best for Daisy” routine. The problem with this line of action is that Chi Chi never sounds sincere when he says this. Maybe it is his voice, but he always says it when he thinks he’s lost the game anyway. It comes off as an ego defense mechanism rather than a real heart felt desire. Big Rig’s biggest flaw is he is starting to come off as too angry for Daisy. Then Daisy does what I figure all girls must do (Daisy is an example of a normal healthy functioning young woman, right?) and that is to compare the boys to puppies. Chi Chi is a little Chihuahua and Big Rig is a big Pit Bull. It is so perfect, please, someone in animation make this into a cartoon and have Chi Chi and Big Rig voice the dogs. Ratings gold!

After the date elimination time is coming up so it is time for Riki and Daisy sit down and talk. Or as I like to call it The Part of the Show Where Riki Gives Daisy Advice And Then She Ignores it, or as Riki likes to call it “The Part of the Show Where I Give Daisy Advice and She Ignores It.” Woah Rachtman, if I didn’t know that this was filmed months ago I’d swear that you were cribbing from my blog. Riki’s advice to Daisy is to split up the Chi Chi/Sinister friendship. Will she take this advice? Will she heed the smarts of one Riki Rachtman? What could possibly happen? Bah, I think we all know where this is leading.

At elimination we find some facts out. Sinister is sick of Dave Pack, Chi Chi wishes that Sinister would’ve went home, podcast co-host Allison wants a sundae and Daisy is having a tough time deciding between booting off Big Rig or Chi Chi. Daisy eliminates Big Rig which causes Riki to do a double take. “Why do I even try?” he asks, I’ve been asking that question for weeks. Daisy has to beg Big Rig for a final hug before he leaves cursing and crying. Boy, take that weak shit home! With that unpleasantness out of the way Daisy reminds the final four boys that things are getting really really serious. Now let’s toast and watch some clips for the next episode.

Holy hell! What a next episode preview! There’s a mystery guest! Who could it be? The oft teased return of London? Is it Brett Michaels? Will it be Logan Echolls or Duncan Kane? Dear Lord I hate cliff hangers like this!

Why worry about cliff hangers when you can just relive old awesome moments, like when Fox got booted on Episode 7? Or you can find out just who was it coming down those stairs in Episode 9.