Daisy of Love : Get Over Here!

You know what’s an awesome thing to do the day after you’ve been burned? Cage Fight! Or so Flex informs us at the top of this episode of Daisy of Love. That’s right, Daisy, the girl who never lets us forget that she’s the niece of a famous boxer or lets us forget that she hates violence is going to make the boys beat on each other for her enjoyment. Presumably Riki talked her into it, and why wouldn’t he? He loves playing theses boys for a fool, even more so on national television. Some of these boys (Big Rig & Chi Chi) are more excited for this than others (Flex & Sinister). Big Rig is just happy that he’ll get to beat on someone and has stayed on the show longer than his stint on “Ultimate Fighter 7.”

Chi Chi vs. Fox. Round one. FIGHT! Or rather, go the Fox method and after landing a few good hits and holding your own, tap out like a complete wuss at the first chance you can get so that Chi Chi won’t mess up your hair. I’ve never seen anything more anti-climatic in my life. Ok, I have, but we’ve all woken up to a snowless Christmas morning so that should go without saying, but I will, just to fill space, because it’s far more interesting that what’s going on on Daisy of Love right now. Fighting, gah. Lame, and it gets lamer seeing nonprofessionals go at it. It’s like some redneck backyard league of mediocrity. Who am I to say that these fights shouldn’t go on? No one, I’ll sit here and watch them anyway, waiting for someone to get hurt or at least walk off the show. Can we get another walk off? Please? Without all the quitters this show might almost become a conventional dating reality show. Frankly, that’s not what I’ve been tuning into see.

Because I’m not in charge at VH1, or a major arbitrator of good taste in entertainment, the fights go on. Big Rig beats on 12 Pack for a bit, and hits 12 Pack in the face pretty hard after his helmet flies off. If you can’t tell, Big Rig totally won this fight. The next is Flex and 6 Gauge, and they seem to be a pretty even match. So even that wardrobe crew dressed them in the same color shorts and I couldn’t even tell who was who or who was winning until they told me it was Flex. Finally we have the best friends/roommates, Chi Chi and Sinister, go at it. It is almost comical how Chi Chi, a trained fighter, is treating Sinister, a sensitive musician who doesn’t need to fight to prove himself, man. It’s so lame that even Riki is all “what the damn is going on.” While Chi Chi isn’t giving it all he can Sinister lands a heck of a hook on Chi Chi’s chin. After that, Chi Chi basically takes Sinister down, hard, like he should’ve 10 minutes ago.

After Sinister regains consciousness Daisy announces that the winners of the matches will go on a date with her. Out of the kindness of her heart she’s also including the sorely defeated Sinister. Oh Sinister, Daisy may leave you alone in a VIP room to rot, but at least she’s trying to make up for it. It should be noted that Big Rig will be getting a special date as he is the MVP of the “I’ve Been On Other Reality Shows” Mixed Throwing Random Punches Challenge.

Big Rig’s date starts off with him meeting Daisy at the door way to her room and her wearing a slutty pink robe. Oh that robe is just covering up her bikini, because it’s a bubble bath/hot tub date! Yay! Yay? I think watching this show has lowered my standards for what’s truly exciting anymore. The tub date goes on with Big Rig coming on a little too strong and weirding out Daisy. He even goes so far as to insist on giving her a picture of his son. It’s creepy and even Daisy recognizes it’s creepy. I don’t think I’ve been giving this girl the credit she deserves. Oh wait, she just said “Awesome possum” I think I’ve been right on point with her the whole time.

A few other random things happen that I thought I’d mention. First off, the boys are all picking on Fox for being a King Kong wussy at the fight. Secondly, Daisy talks to 6 Gauge and finds out he was a stripper that played chicks for money. Finally we find out that 12 Pack and Flex have a plan to get rid of all the other boys from the house. The name of this plan? “Operation 12 Pack Sexy Flexy.” I’m serious. It makes just as much sense as a title as “Daisy of Love” so I really can’t judge it too harshly.

What’s the first plan of attack Flex? Break up Chi Chi and Sinister! Oh my, well that shouldn’t be hard as they’re already starting to crack, mostly with Sinister not wanting to team up with Chi Chi any more. Where can this be put into effect? On the group date with Flex, Chi Chi and Sinister of course. Oh Flex, you certainly are a devilish mastermind. I wonder, can you work it into the conversation on this date? That all depends, what IS the date? Surprise! It’s tattoos! Bonus surprise! You’re not going anywhere, it’s just in the house!

That’s right, Daisy is getting the boys tattooed up with her as they all hang out. I guess the idea is, is that they all have tattoos so they’d all want some more. Daisy and Chi Chi get matching tattoos while Sinister gets his “Daisy of Love” nick name tattooed on his arm. Flex is a wise man and just has them touch up an old tattoo of his, he’s certainly not getting anything regrettable permanently dyed on his arm meat. Not that Sinister didn’t play is safe either, he’s basically “Sinister” for the rest of his professional career and it’s what people are going to yell at him when they see him out of their car window. Chi Chi on the other hand is just balls out retarded. I mean that’s the tattoo I’d want, the logo of a failed late ‘00s wanna-be pop singer.

Before Sinister wised up, he was going to get the same tattoo, and felt betrayed when Chi Chi wanted it too. Flex saw this opportunity to plant the seed of doubt in Daisy as well as set up “Chi Chi vs. Sinister Round 2 : Chain Reaction.” He points out the very real possibility that if one of them won, how the other would react to seeing his roommate with Daisy all the time. Daisy is also curious about this. They both kind of gloss over this fact… for now! This will hopefully blossom into some full on awesome train wreck reality television soon.

Speaking of train wreck reality television this show isn’t about to let us down any time soon while we wait for the roommates to stop being polite and start getting real. This episode the drama comes in the form of a phone call for Fox from his brother. Turns out Fox may or may not have broken up with his girlfriend of 2 years before coming on to the show. It’s hilarious how he’s trying to hide this conversation from either the other boys in the house or from the home viewer by speaking ubbi-dubbi to his brother over the phone. You might be on to something Fox, I don’t think the target audience for this show watched much “ZOOM” growing up. Just when I thought it couldn’t get more ridiculous, we find out that Fox’s girl goes by the moniker “Wolverina.”

Fox is in panic mode and needs some advice and quick! Who’s the smartest and most helpful man in the house to confide in? “Daisy of Love’s” very own Voice of Reason, Mr. Pack. He lays it all out for 12, and what does 12 Pack tell him to do? Go confess, go confess as fast as your little legs can carry you to Daisy. Run my young Fox, run! What could be 12 Pack’s reasoning for this? It’s simple, have Fox tell Daisy why she should eliminate him right before the elimination ceremony so it is still fresh in her mind. Total genius! Score another point for “Operation 12 Pack Sexy Flexy!”

How’d Fox’s confession go? Well he starts off with a kiss before Daisy could even properly great him. This is followed by him stammering over and over again the word “awesome” and it’s relation to Daisy. Not just that, but he even tried to claim ownership of the flowers that 6 Gauge had given to Daisy earlier. After all this he finally gets to it but for the home viewer it is just not adding up. There are too many stories about when they broke up going around, and it seems more likely that he just skipped out on her, didn’t even say good bye, just packed his bags and moved into the Daisy of Love bunker.

At the elimination ceremony Daisy is going on about her faith in the fact that the man she can give her heart to is defiantly in the room. Oh Daisy, your positive hope fills me with glee! Riki compliments the boys on their fighting and that it is now time for the eliminating to begin. As always the chain ceremony goes smoothly until it is down to the last chain. The final chain is either going to 6 Gauge or Fox. Basically, the womanizer or the cheat? That’s a tough one. She boots 6 Gauge and lets everyone know about Fox and his ex-girlfriend drama. Damn, that was awesome Daisy; I have to hand it to you.

Before we’re done here Fox is telling to Riki that he broke up with his girl months ago. Wait, that’s not the same story he sold Daisy earlier. Daisy’s reaction is a “I’m confused, but you’re cute so I’ll let it slide” face. Flex thinks it’s hilarious and wants Fox to keep getting enough rope to hang himself. Riki accepts Fox’s story for now, but more importantly points out that they’re actually going to have a toast for the first time in several episodes. Hoist those flasks high boys, with all the girlfriend drama coming you may not be drinking from them again next episode.

The show loses a bit when it’s skunk free, go back and check out when the show was wise enough to include such woodland creatures, like in Episode 5. Then again, aren’t you just itching to find out what’s going on with Fox and his “girlfriend”? Look no further than Episode 7 for the answer.

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