Daisy of Love : Grade School Games

Ok, I don’t know much about Daisy, but I do know this, Daisy of Love is a total tease. What makes me think that? Oh, just all the build up to a Sinister/Chi Chi throw down! And do they deliver? Oh course not! You’re starting to squander all your good will Daisy of Love! There is established “Reality Show Conventions” and one of those is to let us know what’s going to happen in the show based on the first minute or so.

Not that Daisy of Love doesn’t have its own conventions, as we see again that 12 Pack the first person we’re going to hear from in the confessional? Just what is he talking about? Oh just talking about how Sinister and Chi Chi are going to eventually going to have a big fight.

Now dear view it is challenge time. A musical challenge time, because you know, Daisy loves rock stars. So what better than to have them cover some songs that Daisy loved when she was younger. This means nursery rhymes apparently. Were these really her favorite nursery rhymes? Or were they just trying to find a good excuse for the boys to play songs in the public domain? Sorry, I’ve never seen any little kid get all super excited over “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” but maybe that’s because I’ve never hung out with anyone as interesting as Baby Daisy.

The boys are divided into bands. Daisy appoints 3 leaders for the bands and has them pick each of their other band mates. Sinister passes over Chi Chi to ask 12 Pack to drum for his band… drama! This is seriously shocking to everyone, Daisy even goes on and on about it! Also it is a good thing that 6 Gauge picks Big Rig as they’re already wearing the matching shirts. Band uniforms from that start! Speaking of bands, didn’t Riki diss on guys in bands and how the first episode was the last we were going to hear about them in bands and being musicians? Well Riki, Daisy and VH1 just made you a liar, because that’s ALL this episode was about. Rockin’ out!

Where do we rock out? Why the Knitting Factory in Los Angeles.  There to judge the performances of each band is, of course Daisy, as always with Riki and joining them this time is Daisy’s friend Taylor. Taylor’s dad is a musician. She knows all about music. But more importantly, she somehow dresses even worse than Daisy. Impossible, I know!

The first band to play is Chip and Daisy composed of 6 Gauge, Big Rig and Flex. They’re going to be rocking out some “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” like no one else! Or, well, very badly. So to make up for this they turn to nakedness, glitter and drawn on Sharpee tattoos. The sad part is, is that they’re still keeping it classy as far as this show is concerned.

Now let’s go row, row, rowing in a boat with the Daisy Blades. London is leading Chi Chi and Cage in some song that doesn’t even begin to resemble the song that they’re supposed to be playing. It turns into some “Daisy You Drive Me Crazy” song-thing. I just don’t get it. At the end London tries to go all crazy and climb the drum set. He promptly falls off it looking more lame than rocker.

Sinister is leading his band Daisy Train to what looks like certain victory with their version of “Old MacDonalds Farm.” All the other boys are watching with a “oh, fuck” look on their faces. The only really thing they have going against them is that Fox doesn’t know what he’s doing on the bass guitar.

The competition is over and who’s the winner? Well, according to Taylor Slut-Top and Riki Rock-God it totally has to be Daisy Train. Daisy on the other hand just wants to hook up with London again and so Daisy Blades are the winners. So Sinister is pissed, he knew they were better and deserved to win. Chi Chi is all acting like it was his drumming that got his band the win, not the fact that Daisy wants to eff London, so he’s dissing his boy Sinister for picking 12 Pack over him.

There is no time between the competition on the group date the boys just won, so London, Cage and Chi Chi immediately jump on a bus with Daisy and head to Beverly, Hills that is. Where are they heading? The Gibson Museum, to look at famous guitars and pianos. On the way London shares with Daisy his possible homelessness and how crazy his father is. Daisy has no time for this and gets distracted by something shiny. London is now all sour towards Daisy, poor baby. Oh and it gets worse, London and Daisy are sitting on a piano bench and he’s playing the piano and up from behind them Chi Chi shows up to start making out with Daisy. Sly, Chi Chi and not at all totally inappropriate.

London’s pissyness continues on the ride home because Cage got the alone time with Daisy and not him. He looks like he’s more embarrassed than anything by being on this show. London swears that when they get back to the house he’s going to leave. Daisy is all “Fine, leave!” and I’m starting to feel embarrassed for both of them. London because he’s a real boy! His name is Joshua Lee. Daisy because this is the third dude that just quit on her! So London starts to pack up and Daisy goes and cries on her room. Eventually Daisy comes out of her room to have a heartfelt talk with London. They’re both crying and making out and she’s literally on her knees asking him to stay, mainly because he’s the best kisser in the house. It is pathetic; thankfully we’ll only have to see this once. Right?

Daisy sends Big Rig, Flex and 6 Gauge off to Floyd’s Barber Shop to get a “oh so totally rock n’ roll make over” and she decides that she should play some Truth or Dare with the rest of the boys. What’s better is that Daisy is wearing her trade mark (not really) black and pink skull hoodie! It’s just so terrible. Truth or Dare is about lame as you’d imagine it. Petty comments are made, some wrasslin’ is had, but ultimately like real life, Truth or Dare is kinda boring. Oh sure, Truth or Dare always seems to promise an exotic time, but it is usually just boring and a letdown.  An even bigger let down for London when Daisy uses the game to ask London a serious question about his pops, one he actually told her the answer to earlier on the bus before Daisy got distracted by a key chain. You see, it holds your keys together and it opens up beer bottles!

Then the following happens (presented in bullet points because if this show isn’t going to care enough to entertain then neither am I).

• Riki and Daisy have alone girl talk time about boys.
• Riki doesn’t want London to stay, due to the fighting and stuff.
• Riki puts it right out there, London is the dude that she SHOULDN’T be with.
• Riki thinks that she’s going after what she wanted to get away from.
• Riki and Daisy have a good cry over all this talk.
• Riki braids Daisy’s hair.
• Daisy goes to talk to London about their drama and that Riki doesn’t like him.
• London and Daisy cry together.
• I suffer from déjà vu.
• London says “I want you to find the right guy.”
• Daisy says “I’m giving you a chain tonight; I want you to accept it.”

We’re at the elimination ceremony and we still haven’t seen Sinister fight with Chi Chi. This depresses me. We do see the 3 boys that got the tacky rocker makeovers. They look hilariously lame. For once Daisy’s normal person critical faculties kick in and she knows they look dumb. Everyone has a good laugh and then Daisy is all cry baby as she calls up London and offers him a chain. London calls out Riki a bit, but only to agree with him and that he should leave.  Daisy wants him to stay, but he’s all “I’m not good enough for you.” Riki tells London “this is the most respect I’ve ever had for you” and Daisy cries and throws things. Riki goes after Daisy and tell her that it is hard but that she’ll get over it soon, and heck, there are plenty of better guys here for her. Oh yeah, the guys she left standing on the risers before she was done passing out all the chains. Most pathetic episode ever!

For coverage of a better episode go back and check out Episode 3. Or possibly go forward towards Episode 5.