Daisy of Love : Totally Flippin’ Out

Hey readers, sorry about the late entry, I was on vacation. But I’m back now and am all excited to see what our man-children are up to this week in their quest to impress Ms. Mazey-Head Daisy.

It is a new morning in the Daisy of Love house and what are the boys up to? Looks like 12 Pack is pressing his bed. And what of Weasel? Well, Weasel is cleaning up the house, as he doesn’t want to be known as a drunken hot mess. Somehow he must’ve gotten the idea that he can’t compete with Daisy, the Queen of Hot Messes.

Riki calls a meeting to inform the boys that there’s going to be a challenge. In fact it is going to be a Show & Tell challenge. How novel! The boys have an hour to prepare want to say to Daisy as well as show her something. What will they show? Why anything, anything in the house can be used as a prop!

Flipper wrote a rap for Daisy about how all the other boys suck. They try to steal it from him but are unable to. If only they had. The “rap” was totally lame and it would’ve saved me the 30 seconds of embarrassment I felt for him. Then he does another back flip. Flipper, you rarely disappoint! Except that you disappointed Daisy you fool, you just dissed all her new boyfriends!

Daisy is sitting back for this contest and observing the boys. Also she is dressed like a… sexy librarian? A hotty school marm? Well whatever it is, there goes that fantasy.
Other interesting happenings for this challenge are:

• Weasel bringing Daisy a daisy ring. He’s also showing a bunch of pictures, even ones of him with his broken back.
• Fox giving her… uh… something that’s cencored… and won’t even say on air, even if it’s VH1. The most they will say is “humorous novelty.” VH1, I pay to watch your channel, don’t wuss out on me now, give me what I paid for, I want to see this!
• The Professor shows the “lesson play of love” to the boredom of everyone.
• London wrote a song, but it is unfinished so he wants to hold off on sharing the lyrics. Also of the 2 lines he has he stole one from Daisy’s MySpace. London, you’re not only lazy but you’re also a stalker!
• Flex comes up w/ his blow up doll that he’s made to look like him which includes a spray painted broken heart.
• 6 Gauge does a bit of mixology. With the end drink being all about Daisy.
• Chi Chi tells a story about when his dad died, in his arms, so you know he’s no pansy! But also how much he wants to love Daisy. He gets a standing ovation.

So who did good and get to be the “Gold Star Boys” that get to go on a date with Daisy? Why it is Chi Chi, 6 Gauge & Weasel. And which boys were so bad that they get a detention slip from Ms. Daisy? It is those troublemakers. Fox, Flex & London.

Just to prove some odd kind of point Daisy is going to give one of the boys that got detention a chance to go on the date with her and the other guys. All they have to do is give lap dance to 3 of Daisy’s friends. The 3 friends are all old ladies. Oh the hilarity. Why couldn’t they’ve been nuns as well? London goes for it right off. The other 2 start to bring it, but they can’t catch up. London wins the lap dancing hands down.

Now after all this Hot Triple Douche on Nana Action it is time for some back yard drinking. Some of the guys are talking smack about Flipper. Flipper shows up they all shut up, he’s wise, calls them on it and the arguments start. Of all the guys talking smack Flipper goes after Cable Guy. The dudes all agree that they think this is because Cable Guy actually wouldn’t hit him. This leads more credence to my “Cable Guy is a Good Christian” theory too! Then Flipper smacks himself in the head with a martini glass and starts bleeding all over the damn place.

Flipper then pushes Cable Guy. Cable Guy wants to go back after him, but the guys don’t want Cable Guy kicked out for beating on Flipper. Flipper then moons everyone. He then checks his face cuts, he looks like Sylar with the way he smiles. After he’s cleaned up he goes to Daisy to say he’s not going to compete for her and then acts like a total ass and Daisy kicks him off the show. She gets upset too. Boys totally suck!

Flipper flips off everyone and everything. Can’t you tell he’s a bad ass that doesn’t even need you to watch him on television. He’s too good for you Daisy and too good for you VH1! In a final act of awesome revenge the boys all piss in a pair of shoes that Flipper left behind. Nice.

That’s not all the drunken stupidity! Brooklyn finds the time to go and drunk dial his ex-girlfriend. Or is it his girlfriend? Ou la la, quite the little drama! The boys seem to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume it is his ex. It doesn’t seem like it to me. She starts to call back over and over again all night. Each time just informing the person that answered the phone that “Chris has a girlfriend.” Daisy gets wind of this, but she understands. I mean she better! Say what you will about Daisy, but you can’t call her a hypocrite.

On to the next morning and it is time to go on a date. Seriously. Daisy. Who. The. Fuck! Dresses. You? A skanky junior high school girl? Or a horny junior high school boy? A leapard print bikini top, cut off shorts, braided hair and some huge ass fake fur lined hoodie that is all black and pink with a giant skull on the back. No one in the history of forever should ever dress like this.

Oh yeah, the date, it’s a surf date. Chi Chi hung back to help her with her board, oh Chi Chi, you gentleman. Chi Chi even gets pulled away at lunch time for a bit of alone time with Daisy. Even though they kiss it seems to me like Chi Chi is quickly headed towards the friend zone.

During elimination we find out that part of Riki’s job is to pass judgment on each man-child and Daisy gives them each a necklace. Riki is getting paid to make snarky comments about wanna-be rockers. Damn Riki, I’m jealous. I don’t pull in nearly the cash you do for doing the same thing. I think I’ll just have to face the fact that I’ll never be as cool as Riki Rachtman. Man, that sucks, I always think I have the guy in the animal print blazers beat!

In the end it is down to Weasel, Brooklyn and the Professor. Weasel gets the boot for being too much of a party boy. The Professor gets the boot because Daisy acts like a bored 12 year old when ever he talks to her. Thing is, is that Riki falls in the pro-The Professor/anti-Brooklyn camp. So Riki is all “I think she made the wrong choice!.” Riki what is it with you thinking people made the wrong decisions on their VH1 reality dating shows?

Back to Episode 1 or on to Episode 3 of Daisy of Love.